The Sprout Report
🌱 The Sprout ReportA quirky little gardening newsletter by Gerald Smiley
Sent straight from the soil to your inbox.⸻🧅 What is this?The Sprout Report is a gardening newsletter full of honesty, humor, and questionable onions. It includes real garden updates, experiments, occasional chaos, and a love for growing things (even if they don’t always grow back).You’ll laugh, you’ll learn, you might cry over an onion. But it’s all real.⸻✉️ How to SubscribeWant to join the list? It’s easy. Just send an email to:📩 [email protected]
With the word:
“Subscribe”That’s it. You’re in. You’ll get the next issue directly to your inbox. No cost, no spam, just sprouts.⸻🥒 Recent Topics
• “The Cucumbers Are Winning”
• “I Planted an Already-Harvested Onion”
• “I Think My Tomato Plant Has an Agenda”New issues are sent out whenever the garden demands it (or when I remember).⸻👨🌾 About GeraldHi, I’m Gerald — the guy behind the dirt.
I grow things, overthink things, and share it all here.
This newsletter is part journal, part garden log, part comedy.Got a garden question or just want to say hi?
Email me anytime at:
📩 [email protected]⸻💡 Want to Share This?Know someone who’d enjoy a chaotic cucumber story? Forward them the newsletter or tell them to email and say “Subscribe.”⸻🪴 Thanks for stopping by.This garden’s still growing — hope your inbox is ready